By Jessica Eastman Stewart
I’m writing this article from my kitchen table on a Monday morning, chai in hand, after finishing a conversation with one of my team members. She’s been with us for over a year now, and after just talking with her, seeing how much her confidence has grown during that year has been one of the highlights of my week.
It’s also a reminder of how much I wish I’d had a practical toolkit when I first became a manager a few decades ago.
You know that feeling you get when you’re promoted and suddenly are responsible for other people’s success? (And happiness. And career growth. And daily productivity.) It’s exciting and terrifying all at once. I remember thinking I could just wing it. After all, I was good at my individual contributor role, so management should be similar, right?
Spoiler alert: it’s not.
Management is a practice. It requires intention, systems, and yes, actual tools. The good news? You don’t need to figure it all out from scratch. Today, I’ll share the three foundational pillars that will transform your management approach: collaboration, coaching, and communication. These aren’t just theoretical concepts. They’re practical tools you can start using this week.
The Collaboration Toolkit: Building Your Team’s Foundation
Let’s start with collaboration, because here’s what I’ve learned: Great managers don’t just assign tasks and hope for the best. They create environments where their team members can do their best work together.
If you take nothing else from this article, please take this: Regular check-ins with your team members are non-negotiable. They are your collaboration cornerstone. I recommend a weekly cadence for most managers, although some situations call for more or less frequent meetings.
Here’s the key shift that changed everything for me: The agenda isn’t created by you. It’s created by your team member, with you having the opportunity to add discussion items. This immediately transforms the dynamic from “manager checking up on employee” to “collaborative problem-solving session.”
The agenda can look something like this:
- Updates on current projects
- Roadblocks or challenges they’re facing
- Wins or progress to celebrate
- Questions or areas where they need your input
- Development goals or learning opportunities
Build time into your system to review their agenda in advance. This isn’t just courtesy, it’s strategic. When you’ve thought through their challenges beforehand, you show up as a better thought partner.
Smart Delegation: Growing Your Team While Growing Impact
One of the most powerful collaboration tools in your toolkit? Delegation. But I’m not talking about just offloading tasks you don’t want to do. I’m talking about smart delegation practices that create stretch opportunities for your team.
Here’s a practice that’s transformed how I think about this: I use weekly reminders in Asana to ask myself what I could pass along to someone on my team. If you’re struggling to think creatively about what you can delegate, ask your own manager or a peer. They’ll help you see opportunities you might miss.
The magic happens when you start viewing your own to-do list as a development opportunity menu for your team. That presentation you need to give? Maybe it’s a chance for your team member to practice public speaking. The client meeting you’re dreading? Perhaps it’s perfect for someone who’s been asking for more client exposure.
Retention Conversations: Collaboration’s Long Game
Some of the most important collaborative work happens in conversations that might not feel like collaboration at all. I’m talking about deliberate retention and career coaching conversations.
These discussions don’t naturally come up in the course of regular business (which is exactly why you need to schedule them). When you really want to retain someone, you’ve got to spend time making sure they know that and actively support their growth within your organization.
I recommend asking questions such as:
- What do you like most about working here?
- What could I do to make your work more satisfying?
- What would need to happen for you to stay happy and engaged with the company for the next three years?
- What strengths would you like to use more?
- What other skills might be helpful to you not only in this role but also later in your career?
These conversations are collaborative in the truest sense. You’re working together to design their experience and future with your organization.
Coaching and Feedback: Your Development Accelerator
Now let’s talk about coaching and feedback, because this is where so many new managers get stuck. We know feedback is important, but knowing how to give it well? That’s a learned skill.
Here’s a statistic that should make every manager pay attention: According to Therese Huston in her book Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower, Gallup has found in its Q12 Engagement Survey that the most engaged employees are those who answer affirmatively to this question: “In the last seven days, have you received recognition or praise for doing good work?” Those who report not being adequately recognized are three times more likely to say they’re planning to quit in the next year.
Weekly praise matters, and some managers find this frequency easier than others. If you’re less consistent than you want to be, set up appreciation reminders.
Share specifics and explain why the contribution an employee made mattered. It can be as simple as: “I really appreciate how you got that website update done earlier this week, even though you were in the middle of other things when we needed your help. It was critical to the success we saw with the membership program.”
I often text my team members if I think of something about their work I want to appreciate when I’m not near them physically, because appreciation that happens in the moment feels more genuine than appreciation that gets saved for the next meeting.
The 2x2 Feedback Structure
One of my favorite coaching tools is the 2x2 structure for giving and getting feedback. I always schedule one of these conversations six weeks into a new team member’s tenure, and then annually after that at a minimum. These sessions are a cornerstone of how I develop leaders—structured yet conversational, they bring out growth opportunities for both of us. Over time, this rhythm creates a culture where feedback feels routine, transparent, and genuinely developmental.
The structure is beautifully simple:
- Two things you’re doing well
- Two things you could do differently or improve
But here’s the part that makes this truly powerful for coaching: You ask for the same feedback about your management (two things you’re doing well in your management relationship with them and two things you could improve upon). Your direct reports can give insight into your management practices that no one else can. Their feedback is crucial information for improving your leadership skills.
Project Completion Appreciation
If your team member has a big project about to close, put a reminder for yourself to appreciate them once it’s finished. A card or small gift on their desk the morning after their big event or after their budget gets board approval can mean more than you realize.
I keep a small stash of thank-you gifts ready to go—nothing extravagant, just thoughtful tokens that say, “I see your hard work and it matters.” A bottle of wine, a gift card for a night out at the movies, or even a handwritten note can work wonders.
Communication: The Thread That Connects Everything
Finally, let’s talk about communication. This isn’t just about having clear conversations (though that’s important). It’s about creating systems that keep everyone aligned and informed.
Set expectations from Day One. One of the best communication tools I’ve implemented is creating a “Management Memo”—a written version of my management approach that I share with all my direct reports. It lays out my work style, expectations, and hopes for the team.
This isn’t about being rigid or overly formal. It’s about transparency. When team members know how you prefer to work, what your communication style is, and how you want to reach goals, they can show up more effectively.
Your memo might include:
- How you prefer to receive updates (email, Slack, in person)
- Your typical schedule and when you’re most available
- What you value most in work relationships
- How you give feedback and how you’d like to receive it
- What success looks like on your team
Great managers also take care of their team as human beings, and part of doing so is remembering their birthday and work anniversary. I make notes in my task management system to celebrate these days. A verbal or emailed note is baseline, but you might also consider a gift or card.
Sometimes this means remembering other significant dates too. For example, when my brother died unexpectedly years ago, I didn’t expect anyone to remember the anniversary. But when people around me did remember, it meant quite a bit to me. You’ll know whether this applies to your team members—the key is paying attention to what matters to them and acknowledging it.
The hardest part of communication for many new managers? Having difficult conversations. But here’s what I’ve learned: Most “difficult” conversations become much easier when you approach them as collaborative problem-solving sessions rather than confrontational moments.
When you need to address performance issues or give corrective feedback:
- Lead with curiosity rather than judgment
- Focus on specific behaviors and their impact
- Ask for their perspective before sharing yours
- Work together to identify solutions
- Follow up to ensure progress
The goal isn’t to avoid difficult conversations. It’s to make them productive ones. Remember that the bigger the gap between what you’re thinking and what you’re actually saying, the harder the conversation.
Your Implementation Plan: Start Here
This Week
Set up your first round of weekly check-ins with each team member. Let them know the agenda is theirs to create.
This Month
Create your Management Memo and schedule those important dates in your calendar system.
This Quarter
Implement the 2x2 feedback structure with each of your direct reports.
Ongoing
Set up the monthly delegation reminders and weekly appreciation practices.
Remember, excellent management is much more than a checklist. It’s an adaptive leadership challenge that requires vision, listening skills, empathy, judgment, and strategic thinking. But creating a strong foundation of management systems helps create the space for the leadership you need to bring.
Management is a practice, and like any practice, it gets better with intention and repetition. You’re not going to be perfect at this immediately (none of us are), but with the right tools and commitment to growth, you can become the kind of manager who creates environments where people do their best work.
Building great teams is one of the most rewarding parts of leadership work. Intentionally getting great at this will supercharge your career and your impact.
Jessica Eastman Stewart is a management, team culture, and productivity trainer who supports teams to get critical work done more easily and with more joy through her virtual and in-person workshops. Find out more about her activities on LinkedIn, Instagram, and at jessicaeastmanstewart.com, where you can sign up for her weekly newsletter, The Frida.