The Coaching Myth That’s Hurting Your Team

By Lisa Kaplin

Many leaders believe they are coaching their teams, but often what they call coaching is really advice, corrective feedback or micromanagement. Those actions may be necessary at times, but they are not coaching.

The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” In other words, coaching is collaborative. It uses active listening and powerful questioning to help employees discover their own solutions.

That is different from telling employees what to do.

Most Managers Don’t Know How to Coach, but They Can Learn

The myth is that telling people what to do counts as coaching.

Gartner research cited in The Connector Manager found that “Connector” managers, who connect employees to the right people and resources rather than trying to coach every skill themselves, can improve employee performance by up to 26%, raise engagement by up to 40% and increase discretionary effort by up to 38%. “Always-On” managers, who provide continuous feedback across a broad range of skills, can actually degrade employee performance by up to 8%.

Leaders can start by setting aside specific meetings for coaching only. That time should not be used for advice or feedback. Coaching sessions should focus on what the employee wants to accomplish, what barriers they see and what steps they will take next.

Listen, Validate and Ask Better Questions

The strongest coaching conversations rely on three skills: deep listening, validation and open-ended questions.

Leaders should listen to understand what the employee is saying, feeling and thinking. They should validate the employee’s experience, even when they do not fully agree with the employee’s view. And they should ask curious, non-leading questions such as:

• What about that situation was challenging for you?
• What do you think you need to address to achieve that goal?
• Who would you like to bring on to this project?
• Why do you think the team, and specifically you, are struggling to solve this issue?

After asking, the leader should let the employee think. The goal is to create space for reflection and growth, not just a quick answer.

Know When Not to Coach

Coaching is not always the right tool. Employees who are new to a task, facing a safety or compliance issue or working through a crisis need clear direction.

The best leaders know which mode the moment requires. They are clear when they are giving direction and clear when they are coaching. That distinction helps employees know whether they are being told what to do or being developed.

Make Coaching Sacred Time

Powerful leaders give feedback, offer advice when appropriate, demonstrate leadership and provide coaching opportunities. The key is not to blur those actions together.

Feedback and advice should happen separately from coaching. Coaching should be protected time for employees to focus on developmental growth, especially in areas they want to explore.

Employees need a safe, exploratory space to learn about themselves and grow in their roles. A 2016 Human Capital Institute and ICF survey found that only 17% of surveyed organizations had a strong coaching culture. Employees in strong coaching cultures were also 12% more likely to be rated as “highly engaged.”

Coaching is not casual advice or constant correction. Done well, it is a deliberate practice that helps employees think and build capability.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the coaching myth?

The myth is that giving advice, corrective feedback or instructions is the same as coaching. It is not.

How is coaching different from feedback?

Feedback tells someone what happened or what needs to change. Coaching helps employees think through a situation and develop their own solutions.

What skills make coaching effective?

Effective coaching relies on deep listening, validation and curious, open-ended questions.

When should leaders avoid coaching?

Leaders should avoid coaching when an employee is new to a task, facing a safety or compliance issue or working through a crisis. Those moments require clear direction.

How can leaders make coaching more useful?

They can set aside dedicated coaching time, separate coaching from advice or feedback, clarify goals and end with clear next steps.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the coaching myth?

The myth is that giving advice, corrective feedback or instructions is the same as coaching. It is not.

How is coaching different from feedback?

Feedback tells someone what happened or what needs to change. Coaching helps employees think through a situation and develop their own solutions.

What skills make coaching effective?

Effective coaching relies on deep listening, validation and curious, open-ended questions.

When should leaders avoid coaching?

Leaders should avoid coaching when an employee is new to a task, facing a safety or compliance issue or working through a crisis. Those moments require clear direction.

How can leaders make coaching more useful?

They can set aside dedicated coaching time, separate coaching from advice or feedback, clarify goals and end with clear next steps.