BY PAM SODEN
Communicating with tact and diplomacy is critical to success for business leaders. When people lack these qualities in their workplace interactions, situations such as this arise:
“They said I lacked tact and diplomacy. They told me my results were great but my affect, the way I came across, demoralized the team. That’s what they told me when they gave me a bonus but didn’t give me the promotion.”
Without tact and diplomacy, even top performers can struggle with team dynamics and career advancement. Developing these skills can help avoid misunderstandings and enhance professional relationships, leading to better outcomes and opportunities.
THE DIPLOMACY AND TACT PARADOX
Over my decades of training and coaching individuals to success, many clients have shared their stories of feeling absolutely lost after missing out on something they had worked hard to obtain. One client said his team was having issues with him and the way he approached them. He was getting resistance, not results. Another client’s manager said he couldn’t give him a plum overseas assignment because his facial expression would offend the customer.
Lacking tact and diplomacy can lead to missed respect, assignments, and job opportunities, while also damaging professional relationships. Even top performers can face these issues if they focus solely on results without considering how they are perceived by others.
We often don’t realize we have a problem with interacting in a tactful way until we lose an opportunity and feel the pain. Because we are so focused on getting results, we’re not aware of how we come across to others and we forget about relationships. If any of this sounds familiar to you, there is help.
THE VALUE OF COMMUNICATING WITH DIPLOMACY AND TACT
Defining Tact and Diplomacy:
What are tact and diplomacy? In the AMA course How to Communicate with Diplomacy, Tact and Credibility, diplomacy is defined as “the subtle, skillful handling of a situation.” Tact is defined as “consideration in dealing with others and avoiding giving offense.”
Why These Skills Matter:
Mastering tact and diplomacy is crucial. Without these communication skills, you risk losing work, relationships, recognition, respect and even financial opportunities. The stakes are high, so it's essential to understand and develop these abilities.
Assessing Your Tact and Diplomacy:
- Evaluate Your Approach: Consider how you assess and respond to the needs of others in your communications. Effective diplomacy involves adapting to the context and the audience.
- Avoid Offense: Ensure that your words and actions do not unintentionally offend others. What may not bother you could be offensive to someone else. This is where tact comes into play.
Signs of Ineffective Communication:
- Facial Expressions: Negative facial expressions like frowns or eye rolling, especially without explanation, can undermine your communication.
- Non-productive Silence and Negative Remarks: Silence, sarcasm or snarky comments, as well as assumptions and judgments without discussion, damage communication. Failing to share responsibility or include others in relevant conversations also reflects poorly.
- Critical Language: Using judgmental or critical language rather than specific, descriptive statements can harm relationships and hinder effective communication.
Recognizing and addressing these issues is key to improving your communication and interpersonal skills to foster better workplace interactions.
DEVELOPING TACT AND DIPLOMACY: A STEP-BY-STEP APPROACH
Improving your communication with tact and diplomacy is a journey, and it starts with self-awareness and feedback. Here’s how to begin:
- Seek Honest Feedback:
Often, we are unaware of how we come across to others. To gain insight, ask trusted colleagues or friends for honest feedback about your communication style. Request specific examples of where you excel and where you might need improvement. Be open minded and non-defensive when receiving this feedback.
- Identify Key Areas for Growth:
With feedback in hand, pinpoint one specific behavior to focus on. It could be anything from improving your patience, to considering others’ needs and feelings, to refining your facial expressions, tone, pacing, language or body language. Remember, these are all components of effective tact and diplomacy.
- Set a Goal and Take Action:
Once you’ve identified an area to improve, set a clear, actionable goal. For example, if you need to work on your tone, practice adjusting it in various scenarios. Focus on this one behavior until you’ve made significant progress.
- Find a Growth Partner:
Enlist a trusted individual as your “growth buddy” to provide ongoing feedback. This person can help you stay on track by offering encouragement when you succeed and constructive criticism when you slip.
- Gradual Improvement:
After mastering your first targeted behavior, move on to the next. Tact and diplomacy are skills that develop over time with consistent effort. Don’t expect immediate change, but stay committed to continuous improvement.
By making these adjustments, you’ll enhance your communication skills, leading to better relationships, career opportunities and overall success. With persistence, tact and diplomacy can help you achieve the job, promotion and respect you desire.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Mastering the art of tact and diplomacy is a game-changer in the professional world. As we've explored in this article, these skills are essential for building strong relationships, avoiding misunderstandings and advancing your career. Let's recap the key takeaways:
- Understand the impact: Recognize that a lack of tact and diplomacy can hinder your career progress, even if you're a top performer.
- Define the skills: Diplomacy involves skillfully handling situations, while tact focuses on considerate communication that avoids offense.
- Assess your current approach: Evaluate how you communicate and interact with others, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues.
- Identify areas for improvement: Common issues include negative facial expressions, non-productive silence and critical language.
- Develop tactful behaviors: Follow a step-by-step approach to improve your communication skills: By consistently applying these principles, you'll enhance your professional relationships, open doors to new opportunities, and create a more positive work environment. Remember, developing tact and diplomacy is an ongoing process that requires patience and practice.
By consistently applying these principles, you'll enhance your professional relationships, open doors to new opportunities, and create a more positive work environment. Remember, developing tact and diplomacy is an ongoing process that requires patience and practice.
About The Author
Pam Soden is president of Soden Training & Consulting. During more than 30 years as a training and development professional, she has provided thousands of individuals with skills to become more productive and successful in their careers. Soden is a popular speaker and a top-rated presenter of management and leadership courses for American Management Association. She skillfully facilitates learning for organizations in the private, public, and nonprofit sectors.