Black Belt Negotiating

Become a Master Negotiator Using Powerful Lessons from the Martial Arts

Authors: Michael Soon Lee , Sensei Grant Tabuchi
Pub Date: 2007
Your Price: $24.95
ISBN: 0814474616
Format: Hardcover

 

• Overview
• Sample Chapter
• Praise for this book
• Table of Contents
• Request an Evaluation Copy, INSTRUCTOR ONLY!

Chapter 5

Spying on Your Opponent

No matter how much strength, weaponry, and capability the enemy has, if you can find the one weak point that will bring him to his knees, he can be defeated.

—sun-tzu

 

Although every chapter in this book can help you become a superb negotiator, this one on spying is probably the most crucial. The power of this tech­nique is attested by Sun-tzu (544–496 BC), who was a general and the author of The Art of War, an immensely influential ancient Chinese book on military strategy. The general said that most battles are over before they begin if one side knows it’s enemy’s weak points. “Advance knowledge cannot be gained from ghosts and spirits, inferred from phenomena, or projected from the measures of Heaven, but must be gained from men for it is the knowledge of the enemy’s true situation.” Of course, he also stressed the importance of pos­sessing the right character traits if you are going to use subterfuge. “Unless someone has the wisdom of a Sage, he cannot use spies; unless he is benevolent and righteous, he cannot employ spies; unless he is subtle and perspicacious, he cannot perceive the substance in intelligence reports. It is subtle, subtle! There are no areas in which one does not employ spies.”

No matter how much strength, weaponry, and capability enemies have, if you can find the one weak point that will bring them to their knees, then they can be defeated—period. No amount of strength can cover a core weakness.

Martial artists know that there are vulnerable areas in all bodies, and they can turn even the fiercest warriors into whimpering, helpless children if they strike them there. Clearly, being able to identify places of weakness allows them to bring their opponents down, even if the opponents are twice their size. Information that helps identify weak spots turns out to be more power­ful than superior physique or advanced weapons.

 

This is why, before any contest, martial artists will learn everything they can about their opponents by finding opportunities to watch them train and spar. Sensei Tabuchi suggests that before you climb into the ring with people, watch videotapes of them fighting. You can learn what style they practice, whether they are left- or right-handed, and any weaknesses they might exhibit.

Prior to a negotiation, you can also search out many sources of information to give yourself an edge. Let’s say you have a coworker who’s been going around the office trying to sell two tickets to a Rolling Stones concert, and this person has a reputation for always getting the better end of a deal. Before he approaches you, do a little innocent spying. Find out how much he tried to get for the tickets from your other coworkers. What was the best offer? Go on the Internet and find out if the concert is sold out, which would make these premium tickets and worth more than their face value. Is the concert coming up soon or is it months away? If it’s months away, he’s not under much pres­sure to give you a bargain price. Asking appropriate questions at the outset will give you the leverage to present an initial offer that is as low as possible. If you didn’t know this, you might just give the seller his asking price, but instead you found out everything you needed to know by asking others before he approached you. If you had asked him for the information, he might not have given you an honest answer. After all, he has his own interests to protect.

Much of the information you need in order to gain an edge in negotiations is readily available from sources such as public records, product catalogs, the Internet, and other people. Mostly, common sense will tell you where to search. Negotiations come in many forms, and being armed with information will always work in your favor. For example, before discussing with your son whether he can join the football team, talk to other parents about what the risks are and ask whether it has caused their kids’ grades to suffer. If you are applying for a job, you can easily find out what salary workers in similar posi­tions are receiving by checking with job placement agencies. Before putting your kids in day care, check out the costs, quality of the facility, and training the staff receives, and then research what the competition is like in the area. Never walk into a negotiation without doing your research.

 

Before buying my most recent car from the dealer, I did research online and found out what he had paid for the vehicle and the cost of all the options. Since I was leasing it, I knew that the dealer did not have a lot of flexibility on the price but he could deal with me on the terms and conditions. I used that to my advantage to effectively lower the price by getting him to throw in 25,000 extra miles over five years. It cost him nearly nothing but saved me $6,250 in penalties. Not bad for ten minutes’ research on the Internet.

Remember, people who are buying or selling something are doing so because they are trying to solve a problem. A bit of healthy spying will tell you what that problem is and how you can use that information to your advantage. If their need is critical, if the time is short, or if their discomfort level is high, that person has a strong motivation to make a deal, and you can lever­age that to push for terms that work in your favor. The key is to find out why they are selling or buying, which means asking questions. Start by digging for clues. If you can help them solve their problems, they are more likely to give you what you want.
 

 

THE INTERVIEW AS A SPYING TECHNIQUE

Sometimes you’ll find that the best source of information comes right from the horse’s mouth. Simply by asking direct questions in a nonthreatening manner, you can quickly discern whether or not this is the right person to be talking to.
 

 

Buying Products

You will undoubtedly need to find the answers to some of these questions through research before you talk to the seller. Others, you can ask the seller directly.

• What similar products are available? (research)
• What is the cost of similar products? (research)
• How many other people are interested? (research)
• Why are you selling this product?
• How long have you been in business?
• How much do you expect to obtain for your product?
• What’s unique or special about your product?
• How did you determine your price?
• What options are available?
• What is your deadline for selling?
• Does this ever go on sale? If so, when?

 

Selling Products

When selling products, you should answer some of these questions in advance of talking to the buyer (research), and others you can ask the buyer directly.

• How large is the pool of potential buyers? (research)
• Is there an optimum time to be selling this product? (research)
• Why are you considering purchasing this product at this time?
• Have you purchased one of these before?
• What attributes are most important to you?
• Are you considering a similar product? What?
• What will you primarily be using the product for?
• Will you be paying cash or financing? (on major purchases)
• Do you have a deadline for buying?
• If you don’t buy this, what would you use the money for?

 

Buying Services

The challenge with buying medical, legal, accounting, and other services is that they are intangible and unique to the provider. The biggest concern is usually not how cheaply you can obtain the service but that it be done right.

• What services are customarily provided? (research)
• What differentiates good service from great service? (research)
• What is an average price for this service? (research)
• What are your qualifications for providing this service?
• How long have you been doing this kind of work?
• Who’s your main competitor?
• How are you different from that competitor?
• Do you have some references I could contact?
• Do you guarantee your services?
• Do you offer a discount for advance payment?

 

Selling Services

The challenge with selling services is that in the best-case scenario, you end up with a client who appreciates you and what you have to offer. If it’s going to be a long-term relationship, it really helps if you personally like the client. These questions will help you sort out what the client’s expectations are and what he or she is bringing to the table.

• What services are customarily provided by competitors? (research)
• What differentiates good service from great service? (research)
• What do similar providers charge for this service? (research)
• Why are you seeking my help?
• How did you happen to choose me?
• Have you ever used a service like mine before?
• If so, what was your experience?
• Exactly what would you expect from someone like me?
• How would you define a successful relationship between us?
• If I meet your needs, would you be willing to refer others?

 

Partnering

Joining together with one or more people to go into business is one of the most important decisions anyone can make. To make sure your needs are met, consider the following questions:

• What is the other person’s background? (research)
• What kind of intellectual and financial resources does the person have? (research)
• What is the other person’s track record in this kind of business? (research)
• Why do I want to go into partnership with this person?
• What does this person bring to the table that I do not have?
• Are we emotionally compatible?
• Would I enjoy spending time with this person away from work?
• What is my definition of success?
• What is the other person’s definition of success?
• Will we both agree to put our goals in writing?
• How will we break a deadlock?
   

 

THE VALUE OF ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS

Answering the preceding questions should give you the edge you need to fig­ure out whether to buy, sell, partner, and so on. They are just the tip of the iceberg, though; feel free to add your own, depending on the situation. As every savvy newspaper reporter knows, the quality of the questions you ask determines the quality of the answers you receive. Therefore, they must be concise and elicit the information you seek. Asking the wrong questions, or asking the right ones in the wrong way, or making general inquiries that pro­vide you with a lot of details you don’t need, is a waste of time. When done right, interviewing is an incredibly powerful way to obtain the information you need and want. Just make sure that the other person stops, listens to what you are saying, comes up with a real answer, and responds. Being a smart interviewer immediately puts you in control. Remember: “The quality of the information determines the quality of the negotiation.”

Be careful how you phrase your questions because they can be unknow­ingly offensive. Women tend to be much more adept at asking questions without creating offense. Perhaps it’s because they are instinctively able to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and know what would and wouldn’t be taken as a slight. They also seem more apt to ask questions in the first place, instead of marching right in with an offer. This is probably because they invested less of their egos in the situation. Many men seem to feel that asking questions implies that they aren’t very smart, so they are reluctant to say any­thing that would indicate they don’t have all the answers. Perhaps this is why some men drive around lost for hours before asking for directions.

One thing you have working in your favor is that many people actually like answering questions because it makes them feel important to be the knowl­edge holder, even if the only thing they know is the directions to Wal-Mart. Another factor is that asking a question implies that you are asking for help, and people like to be helpful. On more than one occasion I have been given far more information than people ever intended because they wanted to help me and their inhibitions were relaxed as a result of my questions.

 

Unfortunately, the most common tack that most people take when enter­ing a negotiation is to be focused on “What’s in it for me?” It’s just human nature to be primarily concerned about our own welfare. We forget that if we want other people to be motivated to do something for us, we must make sure they first see what’s in it for them. Smart spies are extremely interested in learning what their opponents expect to get out of this deal, because this infor­mation will help them anticipate their next move, understand and work with the person’s resistance, and develop leverage by giving up something impor­tant to the opponent yet insignificant to themselves. One small sacrifice made at the right time can yield an extraordinary return. There is great benefit in being less self-absorbed and more other-oriented.

Previously, we looked at specific questions for specific situations. Now we want to pay attention to two important types of questions you will use in a negotiation and the types of answers they elicit.
 

 

Open Questions

These usually begin with the words who, what, who, where, why, or how, and they cannot usually be answered with a yes or a no or with a number. They are more likely to elicit truthful information because they require more thought than closed questions. They also let you see more incongruence between your opponent’s body language and what the person is saying, as opposed to asking questions that require only short answers.

Here are some examples of open questions:

• Who has the authority to give me a discount?
• What kind of discount did you have in mind?
• When did you plan on buying?
• Where is our biggest area of disagreement?
• Why do you want this product or service?
• How do you plan on using it?

 

Closed Questions

These elicit information, confirm your understanding of the situation or deal, or seek commitment. Closed questions can generally be answered only with a yes or a no or with a number.

Here are some examples of closed questions:

• Do you like this product?
• If I guaranteed immediate delivery, would you buy today?
• Can you think of a reason not to do this?
• Would you like to take this with you?
• Should I wrap this for you?

 

SOURCES OF INFORMATION

Spies will use any avenue available to gather data. You never know where you’ll find the answers you need; they could be as close as the Internet or the phone book.

The best spies know how and where to get information on their opponents without even approaching them, something you shouldn’t do because it could tip them off to the fact that you are interested. Here are some common sources of valuable data:

If you’re looking to buy a piece of property, county records are available that will tell you who owns a particular piece of property, how long they have owned it, what they originally paid for it, how much they owe on it, and more. If you’re dating someone and considering entering into something as sacred and significant as marriage, you might want to know whether the person has been married before. Marriage and divorce information is a matter of public record. If you’re considering the purchase of any piece of merchandise, just check the Internet to find out the rock-bottom price. But don’t forget to add in the costs of shipping, warranties, and especially service. For many items, particularly those involving technology, it makes more sense to buy locally, where you have access to support. The Internet price is still worth knowing, however, because it will give you leverage when negotiating. If you’re thinking about going into partnership with someone, check the public records for bankruptcies and liens. If their financial abilities were deeply flawed in the past, why would they be any better now? If you’re considering hiring a new employee, examine the public records to see whether the person has criminal convictions or is a registered sex offender. This advice could obviously be applied to partnerships as well. If you are a landlord, you might want to examine address histories in the public records, as well as unlawful detainer judgments, before renting to a new tenant. This could save you a lot of time and money in avoiding future evictions.

 

 

THE ART OF THE DEAL

In certain cases, you may need to obtain extensive information about your counterpart’s business before you can even approach a subject of negotiation. I don’t remember how it came about, but many years ago I got the crazy notion that I would like a discount on gasoline for my car. Over the years I had become friendly with my local dealer, Ahmed, and one day I simply asked him what the slowest day of the week for gas was. He thought for a moment and said, “Michael, that is a good question. Let me think. You know that Monday is very busy here with people filling-up after the weekend, Tuesday it slows down, and Wednesday is quiet. Then on Thursday and Friday people start filling up for the weekend and on Saturday and Sunday there is a line all the time. So Wednesday is our slowest day.”

After pondering this deep question for a while, I just tested the waters by innocently asking if it would be better for his business if he sold more gas on Wednesdays. He smiled and said his overall gas costs would go down, but once it finally dawned on him where this conversation was headed, the smile turned to a look of concern. “Oh, Michael,” he said, “we would have to sell much more gas than just your car for us to earn a discount from the distribu­tor.” I asked him about how much more he would need to sell, and he showed me on his calculator. The answer was 2,000 extra gallons, which he believed ended the discussion. I surprised him by responding, “So if I could help you sell two thousand more gallons a month on Wednesdays, what kind of a dis­count could I expect on that gas?” He hit a few more buttons on his trusty calculator and finally said, “I could give you three cents off a gallon.” That amounted to a savings of about $.60 a fill-up. Clearly, this was not the deal of the century for me, but I kept playing the game anyway, and eventually we settled on a discount of $.10 a gallon. Saving this amount would hardly launch my lifestyle into the stratosphere, but the fun of being able to do what everyone said was impossible was worth the negotiation.

 

I did, however, end up earning my $.10 a gallon anyway simply by convinc­ing all my friends in real estate to fill up at Ahmed’s gas station on Wednes­days in return for the same low price. (No one uses more gas than real estate agents.) We regularly had forty people buying there, so we more than met our requirements for the discount.

Most people believe that there are products and services that are absolutely nonnegotiable. People who attend my negotiating seminars say that medical and dental care are two big ones, and they’re right. They are among the most difficult areas to negotiate because we all need these services, there is a limited supply of trained professionals in these fields, and usually it doesn’t even occur to us to pitch for a lower fee.

For instance, my wife wanted to buy those fancy invisible braces that cost about $5,000, so we let the dentist know we were interested but weren’t will­ing to shell out $5,000 for them. Somehow, vacations seemed like a better way to spend our money. Two years later the dentist called and said that she could obtain brand-new braces for about half the former cost. Apparently, the patent on them was running out, and soon they would be widely available to other manufacturers. If we hadn’t originally told the dentist that we would buy the braces if we could get them at a lower price, she would never have called us with the news. We immediately called for an appointment, and my wife is now wearing the miraculous braces that no one can see.
 

 

PLAN SO THAT THE NEGOTIATING ENVIRONMENT FAVORS YOU

All martial artists make themselves intimately acquainted with the location in which a contest is being held so that there aren’t any surprises, distractions, or physical irritants to weaken their game. The ideal situation is always to be on your home turf because you are completely familiar with all the conditions there. Martial artists are accustomed to their own dojo and comfortable with every aspect of it, whereas they will feel uneasy in their opponent’s. By nego­tiating to have the opponent come to you, you have the home field advantage every time.

 

Sometimes, however, we must meet opponents in their dojo. This is not the end of the world because often we can get a sense of it in advance simply by visiting as a prospective student at the same time of the day or night as the tournament. The visit enables us to determine such factors as lighting condi­tions, texture and thickness of the mat, overhead lighting, whether the sun is coming in from the windows (you always want the sun behind you so it is in your opponent’s eyes), and anything else that might affect your performance. If we cannot perform even this step—the visit—then we are fighting blind, as they say, and must be ready for anything.

When you are entering a negotiation, you may not come to blows (at least I hope not), yet it’s the same as a martial arts tournament in many ways, not the least of which is that you want to win. Whenever you possibly can, get your opponent to come to you. Inside your own office, you know what re­sources are available, such as the necessary forms, files, a showroom, a man­ager for consultation, and other forms of backup and reinforcement that could be of value.

On your opponent’s home turf, you will always be a little more uncomfort­able and off balance. In addition, almost everyone who is present at the meet­ing will be silently cheering for your opponent to win. Sports teams all know that when they’re playing a game, their adrenaline goes up in a good way when the audience is applauding every time they score and booing their opponent. When the crowd is cheering against you, it can drain your energy and saddle you with a defeatist attitude in spite of your best efforts. The psychological effects of being on the other person’s turf cannot be overestimated.

 

© 2007 Michael Soon Lee.
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